The Marvelous Adventure of Ms. Cat

The Marvelous Adventure of Ms. Cat

Ms. Cat wakes up at precisely six A.M. each day. The sound of her alarm is Movement One of Spring from Antonio Vivaldi’s The Four Seasons. She despises the regular alarm sounds. 

She stretches the blankets off.

Ms. Cat thinks about the rush of sleep.

The night always passes by so quickly, doesn’t it? 

Sometimes when she wakes up it’s still dark out (that’s usually in the winter). Other times the sun shines straight through her shades. She likes when that happens. It makes waking up much much easier. 

Ms. Cat always has to crack her bones when she wakes up. She starts from the bottom. Toes, ankles, knees, hips, back, fingers, wrists, shoulders, and lastly the neck (her favorite). Cracking bones is therapy for Ms. Cat because she’s too afraid to have a real therapist. 

Ms. Cat proceeds with her routine. She makes her bed, making sure she fluffs the pillows after a restful night’s sleep. Ms Cat believes that making her bed means a productive day, she never misses this step. 

Next she heads to the bathroom. 

She pees. 

“Hmpf.” She sighs as she studies herself in the mirror. The mirror makes Ms. Cat a narcissist. If Ms. Cat wanted to, she thinks she could spend all day staring at herself. Especially a full body mirror– sometimes Ms. Cat will forget about everything else in the world. Her surroundings begin to fall away, she only sees her legs that have too much muscle, her side burns that are too long, and her waist she wishes was smaller. Ms. Cat laughs at this thought- you can study so much by simply looking at yourself!

Ms. Cat stares. She wonders if this is really herself. Is her left eye really smaller than her right? Does her eyebrow hair go that far? Are those dark circles really that dark? If she stares too long, it starts to seem like the person standing across from her is really not her at all. She waves to make sure. 

Mirror Ms. Cat waves back.

Ms. Cat laughs.

But it hurts. 

Does Mirror Ms. Cat hurt? 

“Mirror Ms. Cat, do you talk?” Ms. Cat asks. 

The reflection stares back with the darting brown eyes. 

Tough crowd. 

“I hope to have a real mirror conversation one day.” Ms. Cat sighs with sorrow.

Ms. Cat yawns as she spreads the white paste on her toothbrush. She scrubs her face of all impurities and decides whether or not to brush her hair. 

Today she doesn’t brush her hair. 

Ms. Cat always applies her sunscreen. Never will she forget her sunscreen.

Ms. Cat also likes to smell good. Her favorite compliment is when someone notes how good she smells. It makes Ms. Cat smile. It makes her feel special because Ms. Cat’s favorite thing is when she hugs someone and she inhales them rainbow of scents. Floral, musty, amber, nutty.

Ms. Cat thinks about how everyone has their own scent, but no one knows what they smell like. 

Ms. Cat hopes she smells good. 

“That’s when we have to trust other people.” Ms. Cat thinks. 

It’s important to trust other people.

Ms. Cat is afraid she smells bad. 

Ms. Cat puts on her deodorant and perfume. The smells of amberwood and vanilla pass through her nostrils. 

Lush and sweet. 

She walks to her bedroom once again and grabs her journal, book, and a pen.
This morning, she reads Breakfast of Champions by her window.(She laughs at Kurt Vonnegut’s drawings). 

She writes about how nervous she is for flying on a plane so soon. Ms. Cat hates flying. 

It does always pass by eventually though, doesn’t it? 

“Time for a walk!” Ms. Cat exclaims to Shadow. 

Shadow is a pitbull german shepard. He is a black dog with white paws, a white nose, and a white tip at the end of his tail. Shadow looks like an Oreo. Ms. Cat loves Oreos. She thinks about how she doesn’t eat them enough. 

After her walk, Ms. Cat decides it is time for her yoga practice (lately My. Cat has been doing yoga everyday, it makes her feel like the sun is always shining. She also wants to grow. She read somewhere that yoga helps you grow.)

She ends by doing headstands. Ms. Cat loves headstands. She giggles as she watches the world from upside down. She wishes she could walk on her hands.

What a spectacle that would be!

Ms. Cat is excited because she gets to drink her coffee now. Coffee is her favorite part of the day. She decides to have an iced coffee this morning. It’s hot out.

After time passes by, Ms. Cat’s stomach begins to speak to her through its emptiness. 

How can something so empty be so loud? 

Ms. Cat prepares her breakfast. She makes sure she measures everything perfectly. 

½ cup of oats, ¾ cup of almond milk, one tablespoon of chia seeds, two teaspoons of maple syrup, ½ banana, a dash of cinnamon, and precisely one tablespoon of peanut butter. 

Ms. Cat thinks about all the people who can’t eat peanut butter and what a sad life that must be. 

Ms. Cat always checks her phone because she is curious to see who texted her. Today is a good day because her favorite people texted her! (Soul Sister, France, Moosey, Mettey, Little Sklar, and Lucy Pucy). Ms. Cat smiles

Soul Sister calls so of course Ms. Cat picks up the phone. She loves her Soul Sister more than words.

“I miss you!” Ms. Cat exclaims

“I miss you more!” Soul Sister says back. 

Ms. Cat loves all of her friends. She likes how they make her forget about some things, and remember others. 

When the long sigh of the afternoon passes Ms. Cat by, she realizes it's time for her ballet class. She pulls up her tights and tugs on her leotard, slicking her hair back into a tight bun. Ms. Cat decides that getting dressed for ballet is the worst thing. 

She wonders who invented tights.

What a dreadful person they must have been…

The keys of the piano sing a song to Ms. Cat's ears. She breathes with it, the recipe of a ballet class begins to form. Plies, Tendues, Degages… passing her by. 

She’s met with her mirror self again. It feels like her evil twin. Mirror Ms. Cat talks so badly to her, it makes Ms. Cat feel like she is not enough. She sometimes wishes she was a different mirror person in ballet. 

She does her best to look away, letting the ugly feelings pass her by. 

At last Ms. Cat travels her way home. She jumps in the warm steamy shower, letting the water wash away the sweat and impurities once again. When she steps out of the shower she’s met with a foggy mirror. Ms. Cat can’t see herself through the fog. 

She likes this. 

Ms. Cat has a full belly from her dinner and once again lies in her bed. 

“How funny! I’m exactly where I started!” Ms. Cat giggles. 

She closes off her night by reading Breakfast of Champions.

Ms. Cat closes her eyes. She hopes she didn’t let today pass her by.