Ink.

When the sunflowers are a bit too yellow. For a bit too long. I feel my ink begin to spill. It is not a matter of deserving or undeserving, of clouds that become sun, and blue skies that become rain.  I know it is not a coin flip. Tail or heads.  And have I mentioned that I love the tails? The patterned way you detail my back. And trace my midline. And pause where my skin scrubs off. So I tell myself plus 7 in the chance of 100 is ok. And it is chance. It is chance. Where it falls I can catch. 

But I know it is not a plus minus and equals. I know I know I know. But still I feel, when the sun kisses my skin too hard, and the jump into the water catches my fall, I am only closer to an abandoned island, where the only kisses are raindrops, and angels on my feet.

And so I sit in the middle of the two worlds. That I have so created. And I watch as I hug them close, and push away. Or is it they are pulling me in, then running away? I write my initials on your skin. With my black ink. I watch as it releases from the tip. It bleeds through you. I watch as the mark becomes a blob. And sinks within your crevices, that are soon to be washed away. Does my imprint linger? Do you want me to stay?

I don’t know what I’m trying to capture, I don’t know what it is I am chasing. I think I hold too many in my hands, and as my feet pound the padded Earth,I run past the growing trees. singing birds, and buzzing bees. If I stop, then I miss the sun that shines ahead. If I turn, what happens to the dirt to my left? Is it better to push beyond the wind’s force where I am one step ahead, or stop in my tracks and get swamped in the tornado? I do not know which direction it blows. Because when I close my eyes, and let my body sway, I miss the other side. I wonder what story it could have told. 

I am never last.

I am never first.

Let me be the meditator.

And linger between worlds.

I pull. I push. I am here with you. I am here with you. I am here with you. 

Let the sunflowers be yellow. Let the ink stain you. I exist everywhere. 

I’ll touch every rock on this path.

Through kisses, sun rays, and patterned stains.