This post is mainly dedicated to one of my closest friends: Zooey Le-Baker, who I have known and has been my best friend since kindergarten. I love you.
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One of my first memories with Zooey was when one of my friends threw a stick into her eye at recess in kindergarten. That was our first fight.
We made up: became best friends again. And then every year after that-just until about 7th grade we continued to get into a fight.
This is our inside joke.
We decided to blow up once a year-then happily reconvene (happy to say we have had a no fight streak for 6 years!!)
No matter how much we claimed to “hate” each other in the depths of the fight-for whatever reason-we couldn't stay apart. Our souls seemed to need each other.
She was one of my only friends in elementary school where we shared a great deal in common. We both did competitive gymnastics, our favorite subject was English as we both loved to read and write, we each had two siblings (brother and sister), her mom worked at OCS, and so did my parents, we loved to hold crow pose in PE and get try and get our ariels at recess, and we loved becoming bestfriends with the teachers and TAs (ok maybe we were a little bit of the teachers pets….)
But as much as we were similar we also had different personalities- the most prominent was our way of going about conflict.
Exhibit A
A fight breaks out
Catalina’s method: Avoid talking or standing up to the person… we will make up eventually, let’s sweep it under the rug,m take a break, and resume after some time off. I will write pages of anger into my journal at home instead.
Zooey’s method: Stand up to the person. If there is a problem, I am going to fix it head on. Communication is important-let’s talk facts.
As you can see this led us into some issues. If we got into a fight I would run away, and Zooey would try and confront it. And although this caused some mountains we had to climb and manunever throughout our elementary school years, we would always somehow both make it to the top, even if we both climbed up in our own way. And at the top-we would see a new perspective and climb to the next destination in life together.
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Zooey and I went to the same elementary and high school, and although we are at different colleges now (UCLA and UCSD) I would argue we are the closest we have ever been. We send each other 5 minute long voice notes of our classes, life updates, and philosophical questions. We talk about where people from our childhood are now, and on occasion are good at sending each other letters expressing our gratitude for each other and trying to grasp how we are closer to being 30 than the age we met at.
I have so many close friendships in my life which I am extremely grateful for-but Zooey and I’s friendship is really so special.
We have been in the same class since Kindergarten (of course some variation in high school, but we did end up being co presidents of the same club and our schedules aligned almost perfectly).
Our fights have been filled with passion.
But they have gotten us closer each and every time.
Fighting is good. I believe if done in a healthy way-it truly does make the relationship grow stronger.
We are like two little vines climbing up the wall in our own form and fashion, discovering our own path-but somehow always end up intertwined, supporting one another in every which way we can.
:)
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