Confession: For the past 7 years, I have only gotten my period twice a year.
Now your first thought might be: Damn. Lucky.
But when you actually think about it, the fact that I am not getting something my body is supposed to do each month…. Not too great!
This used to be something that I didn’t think too much of-HEYYY I wasn’t getting my period each month!!! This is AWESOME!
But over the past year or so… I’ve been attempting to tap into my body, self and mind, in order to get my period back. Because truthfully.
I miss it.
And
I need it.
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The biggest cause was my struggle with an ED, when you don’t eat enough to support your body and you are exercising, the body in order to stay in survival will get rid and stop other things in order to keep you alive. Admittedly, even when I was eating more and enough for my body, due to dance and my love and passion for exercise, My body never got a real rest. Especially my freshmen and even some of my sophomore year of college when I would be so regimented with my workouts, I would be afraid of anything being under an hour or some type of rest day.
For years and years my body has been under stress, and even when I think I am doing everything right, I would stress about all the things that are keeping my body under stress, it becomes a circular problem.
Stressed. Stressed about stress. Stressed about the things that are supposed to make me not stressed yada yada yada.
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Over the past few months I have been challenging myself to let my body just be more and more. I also have been diagnosed with PCOS, something that soooo many women struggle with. PCOS which stands for (polycystic ovary syndrome) is a hormonal disorder affecting women of reproductive age, causing irregular periods, excess male hormones (androgens), and, in some cases, ovarian cysts. Many women experience only ⅔ of these symptoms, for me it appears with cystitis and irregular periods. So I decided that this year I am dedicating myself to taking care of my body. I want to feel good in my skin, because confidence radiates from within. I’m sick of constantly wishing I had something better or different, I’m sick of treating it with no respect. This is the only body we have. We spend so much time comparing, wishing, forcing it into something it’s not. Worrying about things we can’t even change. I want to feel strong, capable, and powerful in my body because I love it. I know it may seem like a lot of my posts have been centered around this topic, but it’s honestly what my brain has been focused on. After years of doing the opposite, my body which has been yelling at me for years to just love it. In high school my dancer teacher Ms. Volk said a quote in our dance class. We layed on the floor after an exhausting class, the lights were off, our eyes were closed, the quote was "And I said to my body, softly, 'I want to be your friend.' I took a long breath and replied, 'I've been waiting my whole life for this”. To this day this quote hits me so hard. Why do so many of us spend our lives being our bodies' enemy? What can happen and shift when it becomes our best friend?
So, this is how I am making my body my friend.
- MORE REST MORE REST MORE REST. I don’t structure my rest days to only be the weekends. Sometimes I don’t workout for two weeks plus. And my workouts in general I am making more low impact and a lot shorter. I’ve noticed the more rest I give my body. The calmer it feels.
- Positive affirmations. As cheesy as it sounds, whenever I feel a negative thought creep into my mind, I stop. I love myself. I love how I feel in my skin. I treat myself with kindness. I say it over and over again. Sometimes even out loud. It may not feel like it’s doing anything, but if you repeat something long enough, your body and mind will start to believe it. And it will become a truth.
- Supplementing the right things. Supplementation is really personal, but after some research and blood work I have found that maca root (which helps raise estrogen, something I am low in right now) and myo-inositol is really helping with some of my symptoms. Ideally I would add acupuncture into this mix, but as a busy college student on a budget. I am not sure how realistic this is. Magnesium and l theanine are also really good and help me stay less stressed and prioritize sleep!
- Knowing and trusting in my body.
At the end of the day, I know the more I worry about not having my period the more I am causing a battle within my body. Lots of women have irregular periods, missing periods, painful periods etc. Our bodies are weird ass things. I’m trying my best to support it, and honestly, just let it be.
Everything will work out. In some way, shape and form.
Happy PCOS awareness month, I know periods might be annoying, but at the same time, try and be grateful for the magic the female body can do. Be grateful for everything our bodies do for us.
Stay awesome
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Cat.
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