Questions in a Flower Pot

I pulled three questions from a card game in a coffee shop.

1. When is it ok to lie?
2. Will you discipline your children the same way you were disciplined?
3. What do you like best and least about your life?

Let’s start with 3. 

When I first read this question I got slightly peeved. I don’t want to complain about parts of my life-or say I don’t like them-because I am already lucky enough to have a life in the first place. But when I took a second look at this question, I allowed myself to look at it in a slightly different way. What are ways in which I am doing well in life-what are areas I can improve?

For simplicity I’ll focus on one thing each. 

Friendships have always been something in my life that I have struggled with-as I’ve always felt I am doing something wrong with them-or am craving something more. These past six months I feel at a really good place with how I thrive in connections-and how I keep them too. While I believe individual time and care is important I think our society definitely pushes an individualistic mindset. It’s true-boundaries are good-but sometimes it’s important to let your guard down and be available to people that need you. Self care is important but it is equally  important to care for others. Having alone time is nice but memories with friends and family are fleeting. I think in the past I took my strength of being able to spend days alone a little too far. Whether it was my need for control or my social anxiety, I stayed comfortable in my bubble of alone time. I used to psych myself out when asking people to hangout-I feared they didn’t want to or already have plans.

NEWSFLASH. 

Everybody wants to hang out when possible. We all enjoy eachothers company. 

 Starting my second year of college I made it a vow to myself to make more time for connections and friends. I’ve been more consistent with making small plans with friends like lunch, study sesh, or walks, and bigger plans too. From this intention of spending more time with friends-I’ve felt more fulfilled, happy, and confident. It has also given me more space to treasure my alone time when I do need it. Longwinded-but yes, I’m doing well with love and connections.

One area I believe I can improve in is being present in my classes. This might seem small-and I do try a lot to stay off the interweb or doing other classwork during lectures. I am engaged in all my classes-answering questions and raising my hand. But especially during the end of the year-I am guilty of not really paying attention in class-and using my computer for some other pointless mindless tasks. It is something I really want to work on and improve in 2025. 

Let’s move on to 2. 

Overall. Yes. I think the way my parents disciplined me is more or less the same way I will discipline my children. The only thing I can imagine being slightly more disciplined about is screens and technology as it will be more addictive and advanced by the time I have kids. Which is scary. Honestly this is too far in the future. I love my parents and will definitely use their tactics. But I will also learn from their mistakes, make my own, and carve my own path as a parent.

Last but not least I believe one of the only times it is ok to lie is when someone makes you a meal and it might be really bad but they put in all that effort so you don’t want to seem rude so you say you love it and try to eat the whole thing.

Besides that remain #truthful.